Operation: Rise and Shine is A-Go

Pretty much everything I want out of life hinges on being an early riser.

If I want to exercise and take care of my health, it needs to be in the morning, or I’ll talk myself out of it (because sushi and comfy blankets are LIFE).

If I want time to work on my writing, I need to get my shit done early to clear time for that.

If I’d like to ease into my day over a leisurely coffee and reading my work ’emails’ like I used to picture when I was slaving as a teacher, I need to get up earlier.

If I want some moments of absolute peace to myself in the quiet morning before the hustle and bustle and utter nonsense of the day… you get the picture.

I’m better at all of these things in the wee hours of the morning–that is, two and three a.m. when I am still awake from the day.

I am a different person at night than I am in the morning. Morning Swoolz is a total bitch and I hate her most of the time. Evening Swoolz is driven, enthusiastic, and ready to take on the world… if only her wonderful husband weren’t sleeping peacefully to the side of her.

Alas and alack, I married a morning lark; he is so damned chipper every morning that I frequently have to stop myself from throttling him for his sunshiney disposition as the light through yonder window breaks.

He’s worth it.

Thus, today I begin my conversion to a tried and true morning person.

Things I have tried in the past:

-Setting my alarm clock not only across the room, but in the hallway. Outside my room. I’ll usually wake before it, climb out of bed, and shut it off. Then climb back in bed. I am THAT determined.

-Making a delicious breakfast the night before and thinking of it as I fall asleep. Come morning, what is hunger compared to the heroine that is the snooze button?

-Practice: I have literally practiced “getting up” to “create a routine” to make it “automatic” in the evening. Husband’s smug smirk didn’t sting so much as the fact I slept in the next morning. And the one after.

Others not out of the norm: setting my coffee maker to brew ASAP automatically, signing up for early morning exercise classes, setting multiple snooze alarms, promising myself breakfast burritos… It goes on and on. I hate mornings. Mornings hate me.

But no longer.

Today, I turned to Facebook. And now? I have an action plan.

Tomorrow morning, I have an alarm set for 5:00. I intend to be out of bed by 5:10.

The plan:

  1. Hydro Flask filled with coffee + soymilk. I will drink this at 5 a.m. in preparation for waking.
  2. Husband has agreed to turn on the light when he bounds out of bed; I have agreed not to punch, kick, and/or maim him in any way.
  3. Fuzzy bathrobe and slippers for the 5:10 alarm. Underneath: work-out clothes for Jazzercise
  4. Nice smelling lotions to apply as a reward.
  5. Back-up alarm on the landing. If I’m going to sleep in, I’m going to have to get out of bed for a few minutes AFTER drinking a boat-load of coffee.

Wish me luck. May the odds be ever in my favor.

Published by

S.WoolZ

Parrot lover. Nerd. Word Enthusiast. Novice Blogger.

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